• Mark Mathews

Dating Apps: A need to know EVERYTHING

Dating Apps: A need to know EVERYTHING

Dating Apps, it's tricky to know where to stand on them. They are an easy way to meet people and possibly date for sure and I do know one or two success stories from them.

I do, however, also know a lot more unsuccessful stories; the crazy dates, the boring dates, the ghosting dates, and the tiresome messaging back and forth of the same old shit questions about a date.

Alas, this is the way things are. There are pluses and minuses to it all.

However, one thing that has started to become really apparent to me, is this absolute necessity for every last bit of info and contact details to be shared on these apps, almost immediately with what are essentially complete strangers. If you can't give your phone number, surname, socials etc then instead of this being respected as protecting your privacy, this is construed to mean you are hiding something, are strange or a combination of both.

I know this because I share nothing, even hating to give over my phone number before we've been on a date - though I often succumb if the person is clearly pretty sound and nice, even though the app works juuuusssssttttt fine as a messenger service and there literally is no need to move it over to Whatsapp.

"Oh I never check this app, let's swap numbers".

I call bullshit. Just check the app.

Now, firstly let me inform you all that I have actually been stung a couple of times by crazy stalkers who, after sending over a link to this very website when they asked about my music, were able to easily get access to ALL of my social media sites!


When these particular dates didn't work out, (nothing bad, just no spark), I then had to deal with being stalked and trolled on Facebook and Twitter! It was more of an annoyance than upsetting, and who doesn't like a good dodgy date ending in trolling story (?!) but this is what you open yourself up for when you give out too much information about yourself before you have gotten to know someone properly.

Lesson learned.

Now, these couple of incidents may have lit the fuse for me deciding to keep my personal details, er, personal, but it certainly is not the overarching reason.

I site freedom of choice, goddammit!

My personal information, socials blah blah blah are mine and I decide what to do with them. No one else. That should be respected just as much as anyone that wants to share everything - They chose that path. Cool.

And yet it isn't.

In fact, it gets much worse than that.

There are now countless times that girls have asked for my surname (clearly to google as what else do you need that for?), links to this and that and when I have denied them, giving the full explanation as per above AND explaining that we are organising a meet in person, it then turns a bit rude and confrontational as if I HAVE to give these PERSONAL details to anyone who asks.

I don't.

I won't.

And I am stubborn so if I feel disrespected, I am even less likely to play ball.

"But you could be married or be catfishing, Mark. Don't you see, we HAVE to have the info to check"

Nope. Absolutely not.

Look, dating worked fine before the internet and would work just as well again without it. If I'm Catfishing, well, you're going to find out when you meet me, right? So, on the date, you can slap me with a Catfish.

If I'm married/got a GF etc, then chances are if I'm sneaky and snakey enough to be doing that, I'd be sneaky and snakey enough to make sure my socials hide that very fact. These are simply not reasons for me to be 'background checked' by someone I've not met yet. I think it's weird.

Shouldn't these things called 'relationships', begin, continue and end with TRUST?

That's what I'm after anyway.

And here's the main point: It is anyone's choice, and it should be respected, if people want to share their social handles, up-to-date location coordinates, pictures of their house from google Earth, dental records and all the rest of it, but this also means that if I make a personal choice to abstain from all that jazz, then that should also be respected too.

I'm just not quite ready to allow someone else to make my personal decisions for me.

And this my friends...is why I am still single!

Hey, do you know one of the best things you could do for me and my music is to follow me on Spotify?! Click HERE and give me a lovely follow and if you fancy adding some of my tracks to a playlist of yours, even better! xxxx

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